Genesis 24
Page 1
By Mary Van Nattan

The study of Finding A Spouse God's Way.

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Following parts:
Page 2 of Study -- parts 6-9
Page 3 of Study -- parts 10-14
Page 4 of Study -- parts 15-18
Page 5 of Study -- parts 19-22
Page 6 of Study -- parts 23-

Part 2
Genesis 24:5 And the servant said unto him, Peradventure the woman will not be willing to follow me unto this land: must I needs bring thy son again unto the land from whence thou camest? 6 And Abraham said unto him, Beware thou that thou bring not my son thither again. 7 The LORD God of heaven, which took me from my father's house, and from the land of my kindred, and which spake unto me, and that sware unto me, saying, Unto thy seed will I give this land; he shall send his angel before thee, and thou shalt take a wife unto my son from thence. 8 And if the woman will not be willing to follow thee, then thou shalt be clear from this my oath: only bring not my son thither again. 9 And the servant put his hand under the thigh of Abraham his master, and sware to him concerning that matter.
Abraham did not send Isaac off to college or out into to the world to find himself a wife. In fact, he did not even send him back to the home country to find a wife. The reason for this was probably that, although he wanted a wife for his son who was the right sort, he did not want his son to leave the land of blessing and promise nor to fall into the temptations of that land. Abraham's servant would not be as tempted emotionally by the "home country" as Isaac might. Also, Rebekah's family could not woo Isaac to move "home" and marry Rebekah if Isaac was not there.
The Arabs have a legend from the pre-Islamic era. It says that Abraham was the Sheik of Damascus (Haran is very near Damascus) before God called him to Canaan. Indeed, Terah may well have also gained high social status before Abraham's day. If this is true, and Abraham's wealth bears out the possibility, then Isaac might have been received with great feasting and pomp if he had returned looking for a bride. Isaac might also have been offered great station in life if he were to move back to Haran and the Damascus neighborhood. Abraham may well have known these things and that Isaac would be very tempted to leave the call of God for a more prestigious life in Haran.
Parents must think long and hard before they send their kids away to find a spouse. The folks elsewhere may call that child away to the pursuit of fame and prosperity outside of God's plan. Many a young man has knelt before God and dedicated his life to the ministry or missionfield, only to toss it aside when he found a sweet thing at college whose Daddy desperately needed a good man to take over the store or business, or to be his assistant pastor.
Isaac did not follow his own father's example later when he sent Jacob back to Haran to find a wife. Because of that, Jacob got himself into all kinds of trouble and stayed in that land a long time. God blessed him in spite of his mistakes, but things could have been much better for Jacob in his marriage situation. Remember too that he was lead by his eyes, not God's will, Gen. 29:16-18.
Sending a child off to college to "get an education" and find a spouse does not make sense really. After all, who knows a person better than their own family, so, who is more qualified to help them find a spouse than their own family? The mother and sisters can help check the girl out and see if her professed convictions hold up so well when the fellow isn't around. The dad and brothers can find out if this guy that is supposed to be so godly keeps his mouth clean all the time, even when the ladies aren't around, and if he really lives what he says he believes. At college this is not possible. The young person is left completely on their own and even worse, they get counsel from young people that are equally at loose ends and adults that are often more interested in "making a good match" than in checking out both parties involved and making sure they (and their families) are compatible. [See our article: Stay Home.]
A classic example of what can happen when a young person goes out from home to visit the world is found in Genesis 34. Verse 1 tells us, And Dinah the daughter of Leah, which she bare unto Jacob, went out to see the daughters of the land. If Dinah had stayed home a whole chain of sorry events would not have followed.
1) Shechem would not have seen her in a situation that lent itself to acting upon his lust and raping her. Genesis 34:2 And when Shechem the son of Hamor the Hivite, prince of the country, saw her, he took her, and lay with her, and defiled her.
2) Her brothers would have had no reason to be angry at Shechem and his people. Genesis 34:7 And the sons of Jacob came out of the field when they heard it: and the men were grieved, and they were very wroth, because he had wrought folly in Israel in lying with Jacob's daughter; which thing ought not to be done.
3) Her brothers would not have dealt deceitfully with the men. Genesis 34:13 And the sons of Jacob answered Shechem and Hamor his father deceitfully, and said, because he had defiled Dinah their sister:
4) Shechem, Hamor and the men of their city would not have been killed. Genesis 34:25 And it came to pass on the third day, when they were sore, that two of the sons of Jacob, Simeon and Levi, Dinah's brethren, took each man his sword, and came upon the city boldly, and slew all the males.
If this is not enough reason for you to see that girls need to stay home where they belong, then you have a serious problem. Many families have gotten into real trouble by sending their daughters off to college to find husbands, or by allowing them to work outside the home. Years of repentence often cannot alter the results.
Note: Someone will undoubtedly say, "But, it worked out great for us!" The few sorry stories I've heard in my life about college marriages were so unbelievabely horrible, that the "good" ones can in no way make up for them. Add to that the many marriages that are "good" but not what they could've been, and those where the wife has a certain love for the Lord but holds her husband back from doing God's will, and the picture just isn't too great.

Part 3
Genesis 24:10 And the servant took ten camels of the camels of his master, and departed; for all the goods of his master were in his hand: and he arose, and went to Mesopotamia, unto the city of Nahor. 11 And he made his camels to kneel down without the city by a well of water at the time of the evening, even the time that women go out to draw water.
Now here was a servant that took his job seriously. He got on with it immediately and not only so, but he knew where to look for the right kind of wife. He went to the very city in which Abraham's relatives lived. He didn't waste time looking in places where he knew the relations were not.
Do not waste your time looking for spouses for you children where you know you are not going to find them; such as churches that are not on the narrow way, half-baked home school groups, and washed out colleges and Bible schools. There are people that are supposedly Bible believers and hold to the KJV, that will sometimes give up waiting on the Lord and go spouse-hunting in churches and among people that are not KJV-only and/or not Biblically sound. (Proverbs 19:2 Also, that the soul be without knowledge, it is not good; and he that hasteth with his feet sinneth.) In fact, not all KJV-only churches are equal. Some have very strange ideas or strange customs or culture. These are most certainly not the place to look for spouses.
For example, one church we visited had a degrading attitude toward women. In the morning service the pastor cut his wife down too much light of Biblical teaching on women. Later, in some members' home at dinner the food was served buffet-style and they announced "Men first." This was totally against our family's customs and culture. We discovered the apparent reason for this on a tape of a sermon that was preached in that church by a guest pastor. He claimed that if the husband failed, the whole family failed and therefore, if there was not enough food for everyone the husband ought to eat first. (WICKED!) They had turned this into a social mess by appropriating it to everyday life. Needless to say, those men were in no danger of starving.
Added to this I noticed that it was considered "normal" for women in the church to start taking the church's Bible institute correspondence courses and then quit on the first one. The women were sort of elevated house servants that the men kept happy by flattery in other areas. All this was totally unscriptural. Ephesians 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; 1Peter 3:7 Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.
Looking for a spouse, especially a husband for your daughter in this kind of environment is risky to say the least, unless you approve of degrading women like this!
Secondly, Abraham's servant went to the right place in that city to look for the girl. He did not go to the local youth group (regardless of how good it might be). He did not look at the beauty pageant. He didn't stop by the bar or pub. He did not go to the local Bible college or even Bible institute. He did not check the local businesses to see the secretaries, bank tellers, or waitresses. He went where the women that were doing women's work would be. The women who were where they belonged and were taking care of the needs of the home in that day were the ones that would be at the well at that hour.
When looking for a spouse for your child you should look in the right places. A young lady should be helping take care of her own home and learning from her mom to be a good housewife and mother. Titus 2:4 That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, 5 To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed. She should not be out working "just till she marries" nor getting a carrier. (Note: Some of these things may not be possible if the young lady is from an unsaved home, however, her desire and goals should be in keeping with God's word.) If she cannot keep house and does not know nor care how to cook, clean, sew, etc.; how is she going to take care of your son's home? If she cannot think a spiritual thought, how is she going to raise godly children and be an encouragement to your son as his wife? If she will not obey her father, is disrespectful to him and not under submission to him, how do you think she will treat your son?
A young man should be at home (or on his own if he's old enough) learning to earn an income (helping his folks out if needed) and learning to be a spiritual leader from his father and pastor. (For those from an ungodly home, this may not be possible, but he should at least be discipled by a pastor or godly man.) Proverbs 24:27 Prepare thy work without, and make it fit for thyself in the field; and afterwards build thine house. 2Timothy 2:2 And the things that thou hast heard of me among many witnesses, the same commit thou to faithful men, who shall be able to teach others also.
A fellow that will not work and lives off his folks is not qualified to care for your daughter and potential grandchildren. He may end up sending her out to work or he may let her starve! If he cannot discuss spiritual things intelligently, has no thoughts of his own and cannot or won't pray publicly, how can he be the spiritual head and leader of a family?
Added to this, if he is in debt, he should get out before even considering marriage. Proverbs 22:7 The rich ruleth over the poor, and the borrower is servant to the lender. If he is in college (which is not recommend unless necessary), he should finish that first and get situated financially to support a wife and children. Going to college and supporting a growing family can be very difficult on a marriage and family, as has been proven over and over again. It is better not to mix the two. Going into marriage with existing debts is also perilous to say the least. It is hard enough to get started many times without that.
(Note: There may come a point at which a young man may leave home in order to serve the Lord before he is married. The Biblical principle here however, is that he have another man (married or unmarried) with which to work, thus granting accountability. Mark 6:7, Acts 17:14-15, Ecclesiastes 4:9 Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour. 10 For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up. If the fellow does not have a friend and does not care to, or if his friend is a spiritual slob, beware!)
Also there is the matter of a couple being on their own. The scripture is very plain on this. Mark 10:7 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife; 8 And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh. If they can't afford to leave home, they aren't ready to be married.

Part 4
Genesis 24:12 And he said, O LORD God of my master Abraham, I pray thee, send me good speed this day, and shew kindness unto my master Abraham. 13 Behold, I stand here by the well of water; and the daughters of the men of the city come out to draw water: 14 And let it come to pass, that the damsel to whom I shall say, Let down thy pitcher, I pray thee, that I may drink; and she shall say, Drink, and I will give thy camels drink also: let the same be she that thou hast appointed for thy servant Isaac; and thereby shall I know that thou hast shewed kindness unto my master.
Point one: Abraham had already exhibited his faith when he told his servant that the LORD would send His angel before him (v.7). Now we find that the servant himself turns in the right direction when the most important moment arrives. Before he makes any move in choosing, he prays. Philippians 4:6 Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. Proverbs 3:5 Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. 6 In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. 7 Be not wise in thine own eyes...
How many people follow their eyes and their feelings when it comes to finding a spouse, rather than the leading of the Holy Spirit? How often it is prayed, "Lord, this is the person I want to marry, please let this work out;" rather than, "Nevertheless, Thy will be done. Guide my steps aright."
Even parents are guilty of following emotions and their eyes instead of praying and following the Lord. Telling your son "That's a pretty girl," or your daughter "That's a really handsome young man" is not the right way to start them out in finding the Lord's will in whom they should marry! This basis for a relationship is all wrong. Proverbs 31:30 Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised. 1Samuel 16:7 But the LORD said unto Samuel, Look not on his countenance, or on the height of his stature; because I have refused him: for the LORD seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the LORD looketh on the heart. All those beautiful "good looks" may disappear rapidly, and no amount of "good looks" and outward charm can make up for an ugly heart.
Point two: This servant wanted to make sure he got the right one the first time. This is not always possible, but it is a good objective, and can spare much trouble and heartache to those involved.
Even among those that profess to practice godly courtship there has arisen the idea that it is perfectly all right to court 10-12 or more people before you find "the right one". For some, "courtship" has simply become a new name for the old dating game that they always practiced. Even the world sometimes calls their dating ritual "courtship".
First of all, at the well, Abraham's servant would be perfectly able to tell which girls were old enough to marry and which were not. Anyone who is courting, ought to be old enough to marry in the first place. The objective regards marriage, so kids too young to marry should not be courting.
Secondly, courtship should not be approached with a view to having a "good time." Finding a spouse is a serious matter and should be treated as such. While the courtship may prove quite pleasurable in discovering mutual love for the Lord and attitudes of life, it should not be degraded to the frivolous, sensual pleasure that is desired by the dating crowd. While friendship and companionship should be developed, it should not be in a carnal mind for carnal pleasure.
Compare the two kinds of pleasure -
God's Psalm 16:11 Thou wilt shew me the path of life: in thy presence is fulness of joy; at thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore.
Man's - Hebrews 11:25 Choosing rather to suffer affliction with the people of God, than to enjoy the pleasures of sin for a season;
Having said that, it is important to remember that marriage is a good vanity. Ecclesiates 9:9 Live joyfully with the wife whom thou lovest all the days of the life of thy vanity, which he hath given thee under the sun, all the days of thy vanity: for that is thy portion in this life, and in thy labour which thou takest under the sun. There will naturally be some good vanity involved in your courtship as well, but it should always be with all purity (1 Tim. 5:2) and honoring to Christ Jesus.
NEW Sept. 2005 PLEASE NOTE: This section has been changed. Previously I stated that God had one person only for each individual whom He wanted married. Things have come to my attention recently which have caused me to feel it necessary to change this.
Is there such a thing as a "match made in heaven"? Does the Bible teach us that there is only one spouse for a person God wants married? This is a hard thing to explain with my small knowledge of God, but I'll try to make it understandable as I see it.
One thing that changed my mind on this subject was that I tried to think of the marriages in the Bible where the Lord openly and pointedly choose a spouse for someone. The examples are kind of sparse, contrary to what some might think. Of course, there was Adam and Eve. But, that was a singular case. It was a first time event and there was no alternative. We might say Isaac and Rebekah, but ultimately Rebekah and her family had a choice. We could suggest Christ and His church, but ultimately, we have a choice to be saved or not. Ruth and Boaz were obviously brought together by the hand of God, but the other kinsman had a choice in that matter. Ruth did also when she obeyed Naomi in seeking Boaz's protection.
There is some evidence that Esther was specifically chosen for Ahasuerus; and God allowed Samson to seek a Philistine for a wife so that there would be an occasion against the Philistines, Judges 14:4. These are hardly shining examples that we would want to base a marriage precedent on. Most of the others I could think of seemed pretty much the choices of people involved. Hmmm.
It would seem then, that while God leads us in His ways and can work all together for our good (Rom. 8:28), He also allows us some choices along the way. If we acknowledge Him in all our ways, He will direct our paths, Prv. 3:6, but in the end we choose to do that. If there is someone that a person would seek to marry and they disqualify themselves before hand through choices or reject the person by their freewill, God's sovereignty is not hindered by this. He can find someone else for His child to marry, and if He wants them married He will.
So, if Rebekah had refused to go, or if her family had refused her to the servant; God would have still provided Isaac with a wife because we know that He would keep His promises to Abraham and make a great people of Isaac's descendants. Abraham believed this too and was acting on this faith when he sent his servant to find the wife. Whatever happened in this case, he knew God would provide!
I believe that God through His infinite power could will a mate for each person and compel us to marry that one only. However, He allows us a choice. Speaking of a widow, Paul told us, 1Corinthains 7:39 The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord. Notice first of all that he says, she may marry whom she will. That means she has a choice in the matter; but, he must be in the Lord, or saved. (As a matter of fact, this whole chapter is loaded with choices and man's will.) Secondly, please note that this is New Testament church teaching. So, it applies to us today.
Yes, God does have a help meet for each man He wants married. He prepares the woman He wants married to be a help meet for her husband. But, He wants us to choose in submission to His will.
All taken together, it seems that it pleases God that we should have choices (Josh. 24:15 ...choose you this day whom ye will serve...). It pleases and glorifies Him when we choose to do the right thing, when we choose to marry someone according to His will and leading, when we choose to acknowledge Him in regard to whom we marry. Most of all, it pleases and glorifies Him when we choose to believe on His Son and become part of His bride! Revelation 22:17 And the Spirit and the bride say, Come. And let him that heareth say, Come. And let him that is athirst come. And whosoever will, let him take the water of life freely.
Can a person then marry out of God's will? Certainly. Solomon is the most notable example of that, perhaps. But, marrying out of God's will does not justify divorce in order to "find the right one". Once you're married that's the one you have and the only one for you. God word says to stay married! Malachai 2:16 For the LORD, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away... 1Corinthians 7:12 But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away. 13 And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him.
Another thing that has been brought to my attention is that some people who are determined to honor God in seeking a spouse have made a law for themselves that puts them, and in some cases the person they are courting, in bondage. This "standard" is that they will only court one person, and if they don't marry that person they won't marry at all. Various reasons are given for this, and it seems to be based upon the assumption that there is only one right spouse for each person, so if they "really, really" are sure of God's will, they would never court the wrong person. Holding one's self to a "standard" that is NOT God's high calling is neither wise nor profitable. It is basically going about to establish one's own righteousness, not being content with God's. When the Lord doesn't hold us to something, we ought not to hold ourselves or others to it!
Here's why this premise can't be right:
1. You can't prove it from the Bible.
2. The Holy Spirit of God woos many people who never believe, so the implication of this "standard" would be that God is wrong for doing that. That's impossible!
3. Galatians 5:8 This persuasion cometh not of him that calleth you. Not every persuasion to "live holy" and "be spiritual" is from God.
4. Colossians 2:20 Wherefore if ye be dead with Christ from the rudiments of the world, why, as though living in the world, are ye subject to ordinances, 21 (Touch not; taste not; handle not; 22 Which all are to perish with the using;) after the commandments and doctrines of men? 23 Which things have indeed a shew of wisdom in will worship, and humility, and neglecting of the body; not in any honour to the satisfying of the flesh. While this makes a shew of subjecting the will to God's and "doing right," it is subjecting oneself to ordinances of man which Christ does not require, hence it's a waste of effort, and as can be readily seen, may lead a person directly out of God's will.

I probably told this story elsewhere in this article, but it fits here as well. We had a friend once, who while in Bible school was approached by no less than 3 (it may have been 4) young men who each assured her that is was "God's will" for her to marry him. She was impressed by the first one, and sort of by the second, but, by the time the third one got to her she realized that it couldn't be "God's will" for her to marry three different men! Suffice to say, not all that parades itself as "God's will" really is. Man has a nasty habit of morphing his ideas into divine mandates both for himself and those around him. Let the unmarried young women in particular beware.
----End new material----
Point three: The servant asked for a sign of sorts, but that sign was based on something very important. Isaac was to inherit great wealth in the form of livestock. This servant was very wise in the specifications that he set. He wanted a young lady that would be willing and able to work with Isaac in the inheritance and responsibility he had.
A beautiful complexion and lily white hands do not get the camels watered and the sheep fed. Isaac needed a wife that was not afraid of hard work. Watering ten camels was not a little job. Camels can drink a lot when they are thirsty and there is no telling how thirsty these camels were. But, this was a job that was a test. No weak little thing that was used to nothing more strenuous than embroidery and watching T.V. would be able to do the job. We do not know how deep the well was, nor how big Rebekah's pitcher was, but she probably had quite a bit of work on her hands. Proverbs 31:17 She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms.
Also, Isaac needed a wife that was hospitable. In that Semitic culture hospitality was a must. It always has been among the God-fearing. A woman that was not willing to go to extra trouble to help a stranger would be fit for Isaac's home needs. (Romans 12:13 Distributing to the necessity of saints; given to hospitality.)
Now, this is an important issue. I once heard a speaker say that it does not matter who you marry as long as they believe like you. This is not true. A man that desires to pastor a church better find a woman that will be a fit help meet for him in that job. The same goes for missionaries, farmers, factory workers, and any number of things. If a man is to be a farmer, he better marry a young lady that is ready to be a farmer's wife. If a man expects to have to work hard to make ends meet he better marry someone that is used to economizing.
This works both ways. A young lady may not feel that she is qualified to be a pastor's wife. She may feel strongly inclined to serve the Lord on the missionfield, or she may be responsible for her parents for some reason and feel that she should stay in the local church. For the young lady it need to be so clear as for the young man. We see few examples in scripture of a woman being called to a specific work for God, but rather that they are help meets for the husband God gives them if they are to marry. The young lady should be prepared to serve with a husband in whatever calling the Lord directs him to and not have a set preference. But it is essential that they only consider fellows whom they can work with in peace and joy in the Holy Ghost.
How many people have crippled their effectiveness in serving the Lord because the husband did not have a wife that was an help meet for his needs, and the wife was not able to be the help meet for her husband's needs? Once it is done it is too late to take it apart, and they may be able to go on and serve the Lord and be useful to Him, but how much better it could have been if they had married in the will of God! Genesis 2:18 And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him. Do not settle for something less. Desire and pray for someone that is suited to your child or you.
One example of the need to be suited to each other is in the area of intellect. Charles Dickens was an unsaved man and did not have the advantage of the Lord's leading in his life. He had a high intellect and very stupidly married a young woman because she was beautiful and appealing. She, however, was not too bright. They did not have a happy life together and their marriage ended a total wreck.
An area in which there generally should be stability is the emotional. One couple we heard of were advised not to marry by both their pastor and her parents because they thought the couple both had things they needed to deal with first. They both struggled with some rather serious mental distresses. They married anyway, and it was not long before their home situation was going down hill. It continued like this for years before it ended in divorce. They both were mentally and emotionally disturbed and ultimately they would not submit their problems to the Lord. The result can be the same when someone who is stable marries a spouse that is not. These things can be devastating to a marriage and in some cases can be passed on to the children genetically or emotionally. There are people that were or are sometimes unstable that have married and had happy marriages, but it must be addressed before hand if there is any risk, and it is wise to consult someone with spiritual insight who knows both of you (or them). Both parties must be sure that it is the Lord's will to marry each other and be prepared to deal with the difficulties that may arise. Going simply on "we love each other" and feelings can result in terrible misery.
Physical inequality is another discussion. There are those that will say that because Adam and Eve were created physically equal therefore a couple should be physically equal. That is a far stretch. Adam and Eve were perfect when they were created. We now deal with the results of sin on our race for thousands of years. In many cases it is good to be physically equal. However, if a couple is ready and willing to deal with the physical inequality that may exist between them it is difficult, if not impossible, to prove from scripture that they should not marry. They certainly must prayerfully consider how they will deal with the differences. In scripture we find that Mephibosheth was crippled from childhood and yet he was married, 2 Sam. 9:12.
Spiritual inequality is crippling to a marriage. When the husband wants to live for God and the wife is a spiritual fluff-head, wants to live like the world, or insists on being the spiritual leader of the home; things turn out badly and can get ugly. On the other hand, when the wife has a desire to really walk with God and be separated and the husband is worldly and has little concern for spiritual things, the home can become a real mess. ...All flesh is grass... (Isaiah 40:6) and unless the wife forces her flesh to submit to her husband to please the Lord, she will be inclined to rise up and take the spiritual authority and leadership that her husband is neglecting. Amos 3:3 Can two walk together, except they be agreed? (Note: "be agreed" indicates that they were in agreement BEFORE they started walking together. They didn't change their beliefs in order to agree.)
Of course, the worst inequality is when one member is unsaved. 2Corinthians 6:14 Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? 15 And what concord hath Christ with Belial? or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel? 16 And what agreement hath the temple of God with idols? for ye are the temple of the living God; as God hath said, I will dwell in them, and walk in them; and I will be their God, and they shall be my people.
Marrying an unsaved person can even happen when you fully intend to obey God's word in this matter. Let me relate one young man's experience to you. This fellow's family was familiar with the girl's family and they were good friends. Her father was a minister who stood strongly for the King James Bible and separation. They were good people with high standards. Well, the fellow courted and became betrothed to the girl and things were going good, except for one thing. When the young man tried to get a testimony of salvation from her she utterly refused to give him one! Now admittedly, he should have examined this matter much sooner; but like many, he simply assumed because of her family history and perhaps her parents testimony on her behalf, that she was saved. He was constrained by the Lord and his knowledge of the word of God to break off the engagement because he could not marry someone that would not verbally confess salvation (Rom. 10:9-10). God will bless him for doing the right thing. Needless to say, he has a great zeal for getting a clear testimony of salvation out of people that he meets now. (Note: Just because someone complies willingly to the standards of their family it does not automatically mean they are saved.)
In some cases, the person will actually say they are saved and will give an absolute testimony of how and where it happened, but they will not make the public confession of baptism, or they do not show fruit that remains (John 15:16). In such cases, as well, there is no way of knowing if the person is really saved, and to marry them would be perilous indeed. Many people have wished later that they had looked for more evidence of salvation, or waited longer to see how it would go with that person before leaping into marriage! Be a fruit inspector! In the matter of marriage it's greatly to your advantage. Matthew 7:16 Ye shall know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes of thorns, or figs of thistles? 17 Even so every good tree bringeth forth good fruit; but a corrupt tree bringeth forth evil fruit.

Part 5
Genesis 24:15 And it came to pass, before he had done speaking, that, behold, Rebekah came out, who was born to Bethuel, son of Milcah, the wife of Nahor, Abraham's brother, with her pitcher upon her shoulder.
Here is an example of Isaiah 65:24, And it shall come to pass, that before they call, I will answer; and while they are yet speaking, I will hear. This may happen for you too. God may answer your prayer for spouses for your kids, or one for yourself very quickly. On the other hand, the Lord may not answer quickly.
Take Zacharias and Elisabeth for example. They had prayed for years for a child, until they finally gave up because neither of them could physically have children any more. Yet, when Gabriel spoke to Zacharias in the temple he said, ...Fear not, Zacharias: for thy prayer is heard; and thy wife Elisabeth shall bear thee a son, and thou shalt call his name John. 14 And thou shalt have joy and gladness; and many shall rejoice at his birth. Luke 1:13-14 They had probably not prayed for this for years!
You may perhaps feel like giving up, but be assured, God has heard your prayer. It may be that He still has the joy of marriage prepared for you or your child, as the case may be. Don't give up! And, if it so be that God does not want you (or your child) married, He is able to more than make it up to you in His tender love and comfort. 2Corinthians 1:3 Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort; 4 Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God. [See Single To the Glory of God.]