Making A Man
Hurry the baby as fast as you can,
Hurry him, worry him, making him a man.
Off with his baby clothes, get him in pants,
Feed him on brain foods and make him advance.
Hustle him, soon as he's able to walk,
Into a grammar school; cram him with talk.
Fill his poor head full of figures and facts,
Keep on a-jamming them in till it cracks.
Once boys grew up at a rational rate,
Now we develop a man while you wait,
Rush him through college, compel him to grab
Of every known subject a dip or a dab.
Get him in business and after the cash,
All by the time he can grow a mustache.
Let him forget he was ever a boy,
Make gold his god and its jingle his joy.
Keep him a-hustling and clear out of breath,
Until he wins - nervous prostration and death.
Editors note: Maybe this is how we got to the point where boys grow up so fast to do nothing worthwhile or refuse to grow up at all.
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graphics and background by mary vannattan