- I don't care who has one. You're not getting one.
Because I love you, that's why.
- You learned that from your father/mother.
You've pulled on that shirt so much it looks like a dress!
found a mud puddle didn't you?
- Simmer down!
- Oh, for crying in a bucket!
coffee table was not made for you to rub your feet on.
- Now what
are you going to do with it? [Usually said after you broke something or messed
- You need that like you need a hole in the head.
- Take your hat off in the house!
- Eat it or wear it!
What's the matter with you anyway?
- How would you like to write an
essay on being kind to your brother/sister?
- Stop shaking your leg!
- Nobody asked you.
- If you don't pick that up, you might get
to sleep with it.
- I'll nag you if I feel like it, you're my son/daughter.
- If I had wanted you to do that, I would have told you to.
You've been playing with my pen, haven't you?
- I'm going to give you
until the count of three.
- Don't pick, it'll get infected.
- I don't want to hear that again.
- Not another word out of you!
- What? You want more money?
- If you do that one more time, I'll _____ ____.
- When you
don't listen to your Mom, that's when you get into trouble.
your face will freeze like that!
- What if everyone jumped off a cliff?
Would you do it, too?
- Look at me when I'm talking to you.
- You're going to put your eye out with that thing!
- Do you think
your socks are going to pick themselves up?
- Your father is going
to hear about this when HE gets home!
- How many times do I have to
tell you...don't throw things in the house!
- Were you born in a barn?
Close the door -- and DON'T slam it!
- Don't EVER let me catch you
doing that again!
- Move it or loose it.
- Be good -- and
don't do ANYTHING to embarrass your parents.
- No child of MINE would
do something like that.
- You'll never live to see sixteen!!
- There's someone either dying or being created under your bed--look at all
- Eat your meat.
- Did you flush?
I worry about you.
- Can you give me an itinerary for your trip?
- I hate having you drive alone at night.
- You don't WANT to
clean your room? You don't have to Want to!
- A man who plays
when he should be working will never amount to much.
- There's enough
dirt in those ears to grow potatoes!
- What would you do if I wasn't
- Work first, and then play.
- Somebody's gonna end
- AFTER you pick up your room, make your bed,
brush your teeth and comb your hair, THEN you can go out to play.
Don't say SHUT UP!
- Close your mouth when you're chewing -- you look
like a cow!
- I don't care what "everyone" is doing, I care what YOU
- What will the neighbors think?
- Who do you
think you are?
- When I was a little girl ...
- When I was
- Do I have to send you an engraved invitation? Come eat!
- Two wrongs do not make a right.
- Don't talk with
food in your mouth!
- I wish you kids could see videos of yourselves eating!
- How are things in your little life?
- Don't leave any crumbs
on the counter!
- Do I embarrass you?
- If you slouch like
that, you'll get a hump in your back.
- You can pick your friends,
but you can't pick your relatives.
- Sit like a lady!
When are you going to take your bath?
- I don't care if Jimmy's Mom said yes.
- Wipe your feet!!
- Go ask your father.
- What did your mother say?
Wrong, there's plenty of things to do, like clean your room.
- It's all fun and games until someone gets hurt.
- I'm tired of seeing you do that.
- Whose shoes are these!?
- I don't care if your brother told you to do it. You
don't have to do everything he says.
- I wasn't born yesterday.
- Eat over the table.
You are being obnoxious.
- How many
times do I have to tell you...
- When was the last time you took
- Slow down.
- Park yourself.
are going to clean this room up before you go to bed.
- I've heard that excuse
- You know that isn't true.
- So you want to slam the door do you?
I'll give you a chance. You just slam it ten time for me now. 1.....2.....3.....It's
not so fun now, is it? 4.....5.....
- If you want to rough house,
go outside! (Which is an oxymoron.)
- You certainly do amuse you.
- You'll live
to regret that.
- How many times do I have to tell you!? GET UP!
You look like an Indian in war paint.
- If God had intended you to
wear pierced earrings, He would have made you with holes in your ears.
- Where did you hear that word?!
- Don't interrupt.
Can I talk now?
- Oh, you think so do you?
- Go wash your hands. And use soap.
- We paid good
money for those shoes, you stop working them over like that.
Do you see that girl? You are never going to marry a girl like
- Oh no you are not going to bring that in here!
- I thought I told you to pick this up!
- "I can't" never could do anything.
- You better quit while you're ahead.
- Don't tell me you didn't
do it; nobody else could have.
- That looks
terrible! Go change your clothes!
- I wish you'd...
- "I don't know" is NOT an answer.
put that in your mouth, you don't know where it's been.
If you don't do it now, then when are you going to do it?
Only boring people get bored.
- What do you mean you aren't
going to eat everything on your plate?
- Think of those
poor starving children in India. [ To which Johnny answers, "Fine, send my spinach
to them." ]
- You can't find it? Well, where
did you leave it last?
- If bologna was a tin horn you'd
have an orchestra!
- Money does NOT grow on trees.
- I'm not everyone else's parents and you're not everyone else!
- Five minutes of pleasure is not worth a lifetime of trouble.
- This hurts me more
than it hurts you.
- Don't make me tell you again.
- You made your bed, now lie in it.
- Stop your crying before I give you something to cry about.
- Don't go out with a wet head, you'll catch cold.
- I'm not going to tell you how to spell that when you can look it up in the
- Life isn't fair.
you do that if the Queen were here?
- Because nagging is
what I do best.
- Did you iron that?
- I don't THINK soo...!!
- Don't use that tone
- Look it up in your contract: I'm the Mom, you're
the kid. I get to do the nagging.
- What do you mean carry
me? I carried you for nine months!
- I'm not here to entertain
- Am I talking to a brick wall?
- Eat those carrots, they're good for your eyesight. You never see rabbits
wearing glasses, do you?
- You had better wipe that smile
off your face before I do it for you.
- There's no shame
in being poor, but there is shame in being dirty!
- Speak up; I can't hear your head rattle.
- Never leave
the house hungry.
- Eat the crust of your bread. It's good
- I resign!
- Who told you that?!
- Remember who you are.
- The acorn doesn't
fall far from the tree.
- Act your age, but don't crawl.
- You just have big bones.
- But you have
a beautiful complexion.
- Well, of all the stupid things!
- You must get that from your father's side of the family.
- I would have never talked to MY mother like that!
- If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all.
- Fools' names and fools' faces often appear in public places.
[After seeing a little boy following his older brother's example, my
grandpa added, "And the little squirts who don't know better
follow the fools to the letter."]
- I hope someday
you have children just like you.
- I am going to have the
- This, too, shall pass.
I don't know why you turned out the way you have.
clean underwear in case you get in a car wreck and have to go to the hospital.
- If you'd open your eyes as wide as your mouth, you'd find
what you're looking for.
- Pretty is as pretty does.
- I'm not just talking to hear my own voice.
- Shut your mouth and eat. [This poses a problem. :-) ]
- Somebody's room needs some attention.
- Daddy doesn't
think your oatmeal is funny all over his shirt.
- Did grandma
get you ice cream again and spoil your supper?
- Go tell Daddy he wants you.
- Because I said so, that's
- If you don't quit that, you're going the eat at the
kitchen counter by yourself.
- I wish you could see
yourself doing that!
- How ya doin' there? (Usually
said after a small mishap.)
- This is your
- Don't sneeze like that. You'll blow
your eardrums out.
- Did you change your underwear?
- Chew your food before you swallow it.
- That's enough.
You don't know what you're talking about.